day 3 .. not lol at all

welcome back
sticking to my new rigorous strategy, last nite it was the turn of the 5-card draw brigade to quake in their fishy bowls take my monies, lol .. but, hey, at least i stuck with the strategy.
Lessons .. decide how much to sit down with before you sit down ! being limit, one misclick and you'll be sat there wi your entire roll, oops.
so I dropped about $8.50 or two buy-ins, all in the name of education. Table Ninja would not play at all, fml, so it was a lot of frantic mouse action .. being 6-handed and not a lot of people paying the blinds and going to the draw makes it a fast game .. it was a bit z00mish .. most players folding to a raise .. next hand please !
Being new, I found it difficult to even beat the blinds never mind the fucking fish ! The other thing I found difficult whist multitabling was clicking the bet/call button and then having to click on the cards I wanted to discard .. it was a bit frantic but I hope to get used to it the more I play .. or give it up as a bad joke, time will tell.
First session in the bag and a whole lot ?? of experience too. I'll be back in a week or so you 5-card-fish    <*)))))-{

A few days off and I'll be back on strategy :) different game of course, but I'll let you know.

pleasant dreams

day 2 .. not quite as loud lol

welcome back

sorry, no pretty pictures today as I've no tracking software for last nights shenanigans .. so last night I joined up with the stud 8 cash players lol oh and one stud 8 mtt (small field, forum game)
lets get the mtt oot the way .. I was more than a little pissed that I was the bubble boy, busting out in fifth spot, meh. It is the ironman series so the points are welcome. Especially since the league leader scored way less points than I did :)
On the cash front I made a couple of dollars which equates to 24 big bets or there abouts.

For your info the 8c cash games run this way .... obligatory 1c ante, bring in was 2c and small bets 4c, big bets 8c .... and as my co-commentator and I are always saying, its amazing how big the pots get even tho it is "only" limit :)

The game plays way quicker than 08 even tho it was 8-handed play. That was the first surprise. Then I could not for the life of me get that stoopid table-ninja to work at all on the cash games .. fine on the mtt front .... pfffft. So i had to resort to using 'stars own hotkeys .... sometimes they worked, sometimes not. The one really annoying thing they would not do was post the bring-in .... wtf ?? The other thing I noticed, apart from no-one at any table ever believed that this new fish had half a clue as to what he was doing, was the fact that the players were exceedingly flighty. The player turnaround was quite amazing .... and probably quite a shock to them when they left one table to go to another and I'd be sat there too, lol.
Imagine the new fish multitabling ! what is the world coming to ?!

I played across 5-tables, all 8c ones of course but I was exceptionally pleased that I did not get skinned considering this was my very first foray into the murky world of the stud player.

pleasant dreams

day 1 report .... lol

welcome back

and so the alcohol-fuelled bankroll-busting-binge has come to an abrupt end, thank you very much. No, I'm not completely busto but I might as well be, lol. Although to be fair, I did have quite a bit of fun along the way :)
It could be a few weeks, a few months more like ! been playing all the variations 'stars has to offer .. the main problem is playing them all at the same time ! I find it quite difficult to multitable 08 and omaha .. same with 2-7 draw and 5-card draw .... lmfao, fucking nightmare.
I even threw in some nlhe .. no, really. Played a few of those 10c 360 runner things .. they, surprisingly, could actually be very profitable .. taking 90mins to wrap up a 4th place for 26 buy-in profit, they would be so "easy" to multitable .. hmmmm
Sorry, I digress. Last night I returned to my "home" .. good old cash 08.
Played across 16 tables (not all at once) consisting of 2c, z00m and 25c .. something close to 650 hands at 2c, 100 hands at z00m and 50 hands at 25c .... I, surprisingly, was not overly rusty and managed to turn a profit.
A picture, as they say, paints lots of words and I've waffled enuf as it is ....

pleasant dreams

the shinobi and the hot-key - part 2

welcome back

just a short continuation ....

so that 5-card draw tourney. really enjoyed it, even although I went out 431 of 589. I still cant believe how popular this form ok poker is. I did make a few noob mistakes.
very first hand I get dealt a full house, a big full house wi kings .. only flat calling a raise pre-draw and then flat calling original raisers post-draw bet, planning to raise on the next draw .... the more astute of you will no doubt have noticed the tourney was called "5-card draw" .... not triple draw but draw, singular, oops :(
my other big mistake, I think, was limping pre-draw with a set and facing two all-ins, like a pussy, I folded my 222xx .... the other two donks draw 2 cards and 3 cards .... wtf ?? yup, my set would have been good post draw as well, grrrr :(

all good clean fun, lol.

the other one I was going to mention was a $1.10 pl08b tourney, fuck me they're popular too ! I went deep, final 3-tables deep when .... (hotkeys are pretty useful, huh ?)
chatting at the table, trying to type the word "orbit" .... action pops to me as I type "b" .. except I dont type that letter .. I bet 3/4 of my stack to a big stack limp .. who promptly re-pops me all -in .. oops .. thouroughly committed, I can but call .. my very very mediocre 77T6 gets (quite rightly, imho) thouroughly rodgered by the big stacks A35Q (sooted, natch)

and I bomb .... 20th of 757 runners ffs, u-donk !!  ((after 3 mins short of 5 hrs, meh))

and the 'stars UBER top heavy payout system really really rubbed it in .... I got a 1/2 % for 4-buy-ins .. thats right, one half of a percent, whatacunt :(

the shinobi and the hot-key

welcome back.

anyone been up to much ? I see our latest mtt grinder has been doing quite well .. jammy git ! lol. I've actually been doing much the same, not wi the same success, lol. but Friday night was a beer-free session .. we'll get back to that. and last night was a beer-free session also .. I know, wtf ? seriously, wtf ??
I was actually feeling tired last night and actually did the sensible thing and only played 6 games .. beer in hand and I've have been giving it away till yawn time in the am. Last night involved omaha, HORSE, 8-game, 2-7 triple draw, badugi and .... 5-card draw, I've never played draw in my life ! and this is without beer !

(clocks forward, his mrs now oot the bathroom, so its his turn. I'm sure he'll be back to finish this "epic" tale - Ed)

but how much was your bar bill ?

welcome back.

as ever, its been a while.

basically been on "holiday" for the last week or four up in Newcastle, lol. Still as barking mad as I remember it. Been working 10 & 12hr shifts, then hit the hotel bar, then hit the toon .. fuck me, am I getting to old for this shit or what ? The guys working for me obv took pity on me and basically would not let me put my hand in my pocket .. just as well or my "entertainment" bill would have paid off the national debt.

So online poker volume has been virtually nil .. but I did play LIVE .. not once, but twice.

are we paying attention Mickey Boy ..

anyways, about 3 weeks ago, or was it 4 ?? it was deffo a Thursday night, lol .... played a small MTT in the G-Casino. It was a £30+£2 double chance freezeout and I walked away with £320 , gg moi :)

then a couple of Sundays ago the tourney was cancelled so they opened up a 50p/50p cash game .. I sat in with twenty quid and several hours later I cashed out £120 , gg moi :)

now. a few years back I was in the G with blokes from the forum, some of whom played a cash game after our tourney .. and a wee local Chinese guy was playing .. a rather volatile player but it was as funny as fuck to watch when he blew up and stormed off from the table .. guess what ? the same bloke sat at my cash table for a few hours, lmfao.

all those hours and I only remember a few hands :) now lets see ....

on an x7x7x board I flat called the guy on my lefts flop and turn bets .. and check raised all-in on the river .. he showed his KK and asked if I had the seven .. when I tabled 77 he just stared .. finally blurting out "how the fuck did you check that river ?"

I also remember my kings holding up against AK .. and speaking of local Chinese, there were three of them sat at the table at one point and I eventually got involved in a hand with Mr Volatile's buddy .. he flat called behind all three of my bets and with three spades on the board I thought I was beat. When I tossed my 34 spades on their backs the guy on my left shouts "he's got the flush !" good enough to beat his TPTK , nh, gg moi.

For the record, I gave the whole £320 to the Mrs and I also gave her fifty quid from the cash game :)

and time marches on .. the first of March already .. since yesterday was the 29th it seemed like an appropriate time to play my usual beer fuelled online donkaments, lol. So for the month of March I'm going to try alcohol-free online donkaments .. interesting times indeed.

pleasant dreams.

lost in the translation

welcome back

now depending where you get it translated, will perhaps give you the wrong impression of me and the wee welsh cnuts relationship :)  .... see comment on previous post :)
so I'll deffo take the manlier translation, tyvm, Rubbish .... deffo up fer it mate, lets not make it during the school summer hols, theres a good chap :)

speaking of cnuts, mr A Salmond, supposed Scottish MP, go fuck yourself and yer referendum ! we get independance and most likely I'll never return .... theres no fucking way Scotland can survive in the current (or any other for that matter) climate without support from the Union .... thankfully, hopefully, most of us Scots will see past the wee scroats attempt at everlasting fame, honestly, what a fucking donk !

speaking of donks .... been trying to play sets of 8 stt's (well, they are ever so slow to fill, sigh). just this week though, while I try and get into a "serious" poker mindset .... getting off the beer is a completely different story ! meh :(
I suppose I'm actually quite worried about that. I started the ales whilst playing because almost overnight playing and boozing inexplicably took over as a night out .... ?!?!  wtf ? seriously, wtf ? and before I knew it, boom, it had become my no.1 social activity .... living where I live and working away from home are the number 1 causes of my fall from grace, sigh. When they eventually chained me to a desk in York, I did try and set up a social evening or 4 with the other office low-lifes but ultimately to no avail .... shower of cnuts, lol, my company isn't really that bad .... o.m.f.g. maybe they follow zagga and actually belive that google is right, I'm the numero uno search result senile old bassa .... aargh !!!!

aye, so where was I .. oh aye, poker .... Monday was a set of 8 + 8 + 5 .. cashed 7 times :) lol (3 back to back second places but just could not hit shit in those heads up so just could not seal the deal , bah humbug ! )
last night was a registration of attrition .. managed sets of 4 + 4 + 7 lmfao .. cashed 7 times, again, wtf ?? lets hope that 7 is not some sort of precedent here ....
really pleased with the way I played aka nothing special from me just seriously bad play from the fish imho
blagged 4 first places (not complaining really) but one of those took 68 minutes :( wtf ? seriously, wtf ?
(double check what you reg for, you asshat - Ed)

so one beer down, time marches on, I have a game to reg for ....

pleasant dreams

nightmares and hero worship

welcome back

May I just wish you all a happy and prosperous New Year !

now surely the preceding 3 month poker hell cant continue, can it ? well, it will if I let it. at the mo its a poker sandstorm .. cant see a fucking thing and no idea which direction to take, lol. as the amAfish would say, sort yourself out fish !
been playing all over the place .. cash, stt's, mtt's, forum games .. and it shows, what a fucking fish, honestly !
I really really will have to decide what to play and when to play it, and stick to it, lol .. so easy to say, ho hum .... which leads me on to ....

you know, there are quite a few players/bloggers that I admire, hell I've even met a few. Mostly all winners (aren't we all, lol) and I'm sure the odd one or two who ain't. I probably admire them most for their dedication .. then again, if your an online pro ....
but they go about their grind and if you can do that for a year, kudos ! now they are not all pro's, not by a long shot. I mean, there are part timers and recreational donks .. zagga and jonesUcunt spring to mind , lol. there are of course others, the likes of theRant and closer to home there's the yellow belly JA's (thats a ref to his location, not his status lmfao)
but they all go about there business in a certain fashion which is one or four steps up from my degen beer drinking poker playing attempt !! (my only defence is the fact I have not reloaded in 3 years, honest)

and in summation m'lud .. knock it on the head and start rinsing the fish and stop fucking feeding them

pleasant dreams

bah, humbug !

welcome back.

you know, working for the man may provide you with a regular income, but fuck me, there are some miserable arseholes you have to put up with :(
someone I know is working in their back yard tomorrow and thought it'd be prudent to work from home on friday rather than travel the 120 miles into the office .... he put the suggestion to his gaffer .... and was promptly told that there was shit he had to complete for friday and his gaffer was sure he could not possibly do this work from home .... what a miserable cunt ! its supposed to be christmas ffs.

poker has been much more fun :)

I warmed up for last nights session by .... playing poker, lol .... well how the fuck else are you supposed to warm up :)
the warm-up consisted of a set of, wait for it .. four STT's .... and I ITM'd the four of them :) should probably have called it a night right there !!
They were all $1.50 Turbo Knockout no-limit 08 .. 

one guy in the first game says

" I have no clue how to play this .... "
" why enter then ? " I politely enquired
" i didn't realise it was 4-cards .... "

wtf ? if it says "omaha" anywhere in the tourny title .... lol

anyways, he then proceeds to jam his stack in every hand and lasted 5 hands, lol. kudos to the guy for his honesty if nothing else :)

so first game I blag 2nd
  ((jammed A39K sooted ace into 24K8 ?? and he binks it , ho hum))
second game I blag 1st
  ((jammed 7A82 sooted ace into TJ5K ?? and I bink it , ho hum))
third game I blag 2nd
  ((jammed 6473 sooted 64 into 67QJ ?? and he binks it , ho hum))
fourth game I blag 3rd
  ((jammed 4K3Q sooted K into 9AA5 and A7AK and they split it , ho hum))

cant get much better than that, 4 from 4 ????

then I entered a few MTT's , all small field affairs because not one was hold'em :)

first up was a 2-7 lowball single draw .... bombed in 60th :( .... (64 runners lol)
next up was triple stud .... busted in 17th of 54 runners .... my kings and sixes no goot against the obligatory aces and fours
then we had the delights of the $4.40 pl08b .... close on 500 runners I bust in 185th
and onto Badugi, lol .... only 46 entered, I lasted until 21st
with the slightly saner version .. 2-7 lowball triple draw :) only 48 in and I got to 14th
and finished off the sesh with two back to back 8-game
with 85 players I managed (just) in the money with an 8th place
and then with 69 entrees .... I win, wheeee :)

heads up mildly amusing because we're at level XXXIX .... which was no-limit hold'em, oh the uber irony .... was chip leader heads up 80k to his 60k .... jammed with 45 and got called by K5 , err ok .... not a K in sight not that it would have helped as i flopped a straight, ouch

not a bad session :) started the grind at roughly 7, ending on a high at half past midnight. as ever ....

pleasant dreams

walk softly ....

welcome back.

nowt happening, those with ADS can now bugger off :)

as stated earlier, poker volume has been atrocious, meh. basically given up the ghost of any decent volume or accruel of vpp's .... in fact, after the latest windows crash and subsequent re-install, I've given up the fucking lot !! what a pain in the arse a re-install is .. and the fucking downloads, fml ! (should have made a backup disc, you tosspot - Ed)

so I cant be arsed with the cash grind, given up ?? on the stt's and have been delving into the mtt world .... standards of play, imho, shocking.

I mean .... took 1st place in a wee triple stud, 3rd place in a wee badugi and 14th (of 672 runners ffs) in an 08 tourney .... what does that tell you about the competition ????
the 08 is an eye opener because I sat out (bedtime, meh) with 30 runners still in and I still "run" it up to 14th ....

btw, 'stars - your payout structure is FUCKING piss poor .... (14th got twenty times less than 1st)

imo, stars should reduce the amount of peeps paid but NOT increase the top spots percentages .... or ....  pay out the same number of people as they do at the mo, but knock a few % points of the top spot(s) , trust me, top spot in a micro buy-in would not even fucking notice a 10% reduction

so there you go, mtt's are simples :)

lets not go onto stt's as I have (for the last 3 weeks) 52 unread congrats emails from 'stars support :)

ah, that feels so much better !

pleasant dreams

Much Ado About Nothing

welcome back

Not been around to post much because I have nothing much to post about, lol. Well, you get to a certain stage in life and all those exciting things that one used to do, well .. they are no longer that exciting, meh.

Apart from a MONSTER night in the other Saturday, spent in the company of my good poker buddy zagga, there has been hellish little worth reporting. So glad that we decided on a night of on line shenanigans and did not go play live. You prolly had to be there but what a night, lol.
Much beer was consumed, many herbs were smoked and we even managed to play some poker :) The "evening" ended at 4 in the am !! when I (we?) (zagga?) decided to throw in the towel with zagga ordering a taxi for "Dudley" .... I was like "wtf ? no, you didn't ...." but he fucking well did !!
We both did well, relieving fish of their money .. all down to me bringing my "Dudley-run-good" of course :) As I said you prolly had to be there .. the taxi driver probably wishes he was NOT there .. since I just had to explain to him why the taxi had been ordered for "Dudley" which most deffo is not my name, lol.

Apart from that, pretty much sweet.f.a going on, especially on the poker front !
I'm back to the bottom stars VIP status which really requires no explanation. If you are not playing, you cannot earn VPP's , lmfao. So my Nov volume was really, really atrocious .. Oct was not much better, sigh .. and so far December has been just as bad, pffft.     

Finishing on a "high" note (its all your fucking fault Zagga, damned hyper turbo's pffft) no, no, I really have not played any ! but my severe lack of volume is down to basically dicking about with the micro turbo STT's and turbo 6-max .. I was in the hole for $20 but but after dropping the 18-manners, I've clawed my way back to just $7 down .. oh, and the sample size ??  presto ! a whopping 55 games :)

see, see, Dudley-run-good in action !

pleasant dreams

off to a flyer

welcome back

I know its pretty boring, but its nice to be off and running .. in the right direction, lol

pleasant dreams

the quest

welcome back

so far, November has been a horrible poker month. I'm not broke, but if bankroll was soley dependant on volume .. I'd be busto, lol. For the remainder of the month, I'm taking a leaf (not even a whole fucking page !) out of theGrinder's book.
I suppose a quest is a double edge sword .. do you chase the quest via volume .. certainly possible for sit'n'go grinders as they know exactly how many vpp's they earn per game .. do you chase the quest via profit .. arguably the only way to go for cash players.
I'll have to try a little of both. Sort of. Now my quest is pretty simple. Retain Silver for next month. Normally pretty plain sailing if I spread the volume over the month. Obv I haven't so far this month, meh.
So I'll have to aim for 40 vpp's per session (lol !) Obv any profit that goes with it will be more than welcome !
I'd backed off playing because my 'roll had taken a hammering over the last month or so. Finally figured out why, duh. Playing and paying forum pyramid games equates to $20 a week .. real world peanuts, but a lot for a microstakes bankroll, meh. Next time I may not be so greedy and sign up for one or two levels and not all three !!
Finally, hats off to my mate zagga who is playing hyper turbo's .... yer a sic puppy !!

pleasant dreams

just another wee dilema - pt 2

welcome back

might as well get this oot the way .... well done noCash who shipped something or other for 12k, jammy coooont, lol.
part 4/4 of his trip report is by far the best entry imo. and i do like his style re the final table .. quote "(No chops / deals / bubble bursters any anything else equally homosexual)" .... awesome :)

originally, this entry was going to be about poker .... and alcohol .... bad hair day, so it can wait until tomorrow ....

before we start, i noticed a huge increase in cash tables available at microlevel, yup , its another road-to-70-billion promo .... its actually quite difficult to exploit all the passing traffic, most seem to have no clue ! so unless you have the nuts, up & down btw, you are going to get called with an overpair, lol, i kid you not !

i see stars had another update .. always wonder wtf they are all about, so i did a little digging (amazing the things you find on the pokerstars website lmfao)(ok, ok so i'm not actually that impressed with their website. read on, you'll find out why)

special offers .. fair enough, i suppose, but wtf is MTT leaderboard doing on there ??

fawk me, it aint that bleedin obvious, yeesh .... PokerStars Software – New Features

I wish I'd never looked ....
Social Sharing – We are adding the ability to post your hands directly to your Facebook and Twitter ....

Notes Improvements – We have made a number of improvements to how our notes system works .... seems fair, if you use notes, obv.

Sit & Go Lobby Revamp .. uh, ok
Sit Out Next Big Blind and Close Table  .. this was a fucking awesome addition
Apply Active Layout .. uh, ok
Rearrangement of Title bar for Tournament Tables .. uh, ok
 Option not to Steal Focus when Typing in Chat or taking a Note .. thats a relief !
Column Settings .. yay !!

wow, wait a minute. the latest updates on stars website are listed as June 2011, wtf ??

I suppose the latest news will prolly be found HERE

be warned .... this thread started in 2006 .... there are now 841 pages of comments ....

pleasant dreams

just another wee dilema - pt 1

welcome back.

originally, this entry was going to be about poker .... and alcohol .... bad hair day, so it can wait until tomorrow ....

alarm goes off this morning at quarter to six, I'm on the road just after six. correct, she wouldn't entertain an early morning jump start, pfffft. Journey up to York was better than normal, probably due to the early start, or lack there of, pfffft.

Get to work early. wow ! Lots of jokes about the clocks going back promptly ensued, pfffft. Hate it when my colleagues are in better form than me. So brownie points for being early, err no, the only thing you get from my lot are black marks for being late (do they give a flying fuck how long it takes me to get home on a Friday ? err no. Do I give a flying fuck about being early ....)

Work was actually ok, just enough on my desk to keep under the sweetie wives (management jobsworths) radar. Leave work .... and its dark, fuck !

Anyways, off home and then off to the shops for the weeks provisions. Their card reader is not working so I go find an ATM and take out twenty quid, put it in my pocket, get the shopping done, wait at the till, reach into my pocket for the twenty quid and pull out .... fresh fucking air !

yup, its not there .. so whoever finds my money, have a free beer, coooonts.

Days like this make me frightened to play .... nh, gg, ul, fu ....

pleasant dreams

"I used to love dreaming up titles...."

welcome back.

I see blogger have been messing about with the interface .. suppose only time will tell if i even notice/use the changes, lol. EDIT - wowser, the preview button works !!
speaking of change, i've moved gaffs in York, just have to wait and see how much of an improvement over the old place it turns out to be .... well its a lot cleaner, strike one !
Not much happening, no lady-boy banging stories (eh Simon) or protecting my boyfriend from lizards (eh Simon) .... you know where to go for that kinda shit, lol
finally, finally got around to reinstalling pokerTracker, for all the good it'll do me, lol and while i was at it, thought I'd give tableNinja a go, well, a months free trial, ho-hum .... seems like a real fancy amalgamation of AHK scripting but as I'm way to lazy to write my own ....
as I said, not hellish much going on, but I'll finish on a high note

A dwarf in London was thinking about looting a butchers, but the steaks were too high ....

pleasant dreams

no title .... (can you tell I aint been here awhile .... )

welcome back.

you thought .... I'd died ? , thankfully, no.

you thought .... I'd gone busto ? , hopefully, no.

you thought .... I'd .... probably, no.

It is a bit redic though, the gaps between posting, lol. Anyways, still here, still playing, just. After weeks of problems with the laptop, the HDD gave up the ghost, almost. I could only boot up in "safe mode" .... have you seen the size of the tables on a 1024*768 display ?? That alone is enough to make you give up !
After putting up with this for a few weeks .. cough cough .. I bit the bullet and bought a new hdd, got a copy of windows, ordered replacement media from those thieving cunts at Toshiba, in case the copy of windows was a wee bit suspect .... installed the new drive, installed windows, installed 37, yes thats THIRTY SEVEN drivers from Toshiba .... played for one night, and the next night my broadband dongle went tits up !!!!
After putting up with bt fon coverage for a week .... and you thought online poker was stressful, pfffft, .... I called 3-support .... after 31mins and 50secs .. the lovely Sirita told me to , get this, uninstall and reinstall my dongle software .... yep, worked first time ffs !

so I am back :) wheeee :)

As you can see, I do love to spout pish, as Zagga would say.

oh btw, stars balance hovering just over 1k .... should I move that to the top for all the lazy fuckers ?

finally, fucking awesome result on Sunday, stuffing the whining whinging wankers 4-2 .... God Save The Queen .... :) he he he he

and in case i go awol again, heres a wee joke, courtesy of Frances ....

I was in Curry's earlier when I asked my wife
"What's your favourite Teletubby ?"
"Tinky Winky" she replied.
"No you fat cunt, which TV do you want ?"

pleasant dreams

you'll be glad you asked ....

welcome back.

well, you might not be, but I'm glad you did :)

after last months wee foray into mtt land ($60 profit) which is such a small sample size as to be totally totally insignificant .... thought i'd play some more. I was slightly disappointed that the sixty was not closer to a hundred, until i realised i'd played a $33 mtt somewhere along the line. I do remember thinking "$3.30 entry, thats a bit unusual" .... ho hum

anyways, took the plunge the other Saturday night and reg'd for the weekly $215 (money I won btw). Didn't do much but with 3 tables left, I thought I could at least make the money .. top 9 paid .. with 16 left I thought, "i can do it.."
15 left .. I can do it
14 left .. I can do it
13 left .. I can do it
12 left .. doh !!
tbh I didn't feel overawed by any of the players I ran into, so if you can afford it at all, give it a go ! dont be me and piss about at the micro's !!

a few days later I thought I'd give it a go again, this time at totally affordable buy-in level, lol

so i entered a $5.50 re-buy and was promptly ejected in dead last place ! ( i refuse to re-buy and if you make the big money you are in for one hell of a return on your "investment" ) (i was not first out chronologically but the tourney lobby showed me as dead last ??)

next please !

later was the $4.40 .... and I shipped it, wheeee :)

with 446 runners, first was good for $342 .... at the time i was ecstatic, then I cashed it out and I was not so ecstatic .... I got £210 (dog damned fucking exchange rate!) gave it to the mrs for the kids :( lol
basically worked out at £40 an hour, so maybe I should not complain, tax free and all :)

final table was fun. i arrived as the big stack and ran over it lol. best part was the table chat .... one guy boasted about his 81% roi and flat out called me a fish :) one other bloke reckoned I was Lederer, playing from Guantanamo :)

pleasant dreams

"isn't it ironic"

welcome back

typical, fucking typical

i ship one and every caaaant is in bed

doh !


pleasant dreams

invuited

welcome back

it seems that the god fearing Christain spammer cannot spell .... :)

another month slides by .... and good riddance, poker wise. it really was an ughh month which can be summed up in one hand ....

myself and another big stack and a short stack get it all in on my turned full house .... the big stack has the same full house .. oh and the short stack has the only nut low .. sigh

on a more worrying front, i seem to have picked up a really bad habit on the bigger buy-in tables of getting involved in multi way pots with only a one way nut hand .... ouch. now for some reason i don't appear to be doing this at the micro's .... some weird psychology at work here, i mean, I've no idea where this redonkulus leak sprang from, just turned round one night and there it was .. basically killed May for me. so no bad beats per se just my bad, so to speak. pfffft.

btw the icing on the cake for winning the 11 week iron-man league was a $215 ticket .... was gonna play the scoop event .. rather glad i didn't .... lasted nearly 12 hrs with $16k for first and 500 runners .... I'd rather play the weekly $215 .... roughly 100 runners with $5k for first lasting 5hrs ....

finish up work tomorrow for a week. off back North to the homeland :) but sadly its not the best of circumstances :( my mum, bless her, is not too well .. its actually quite difficult remembering she is getting on a bit since i don't see her that often .. always a wee shock to see deterioration in a loved one. perked her up quite a bit when i managed to speak to her in the hospital so hopefully when she sees the kids it'll give her another wee boost !

pleasant dreams

11 weeks

welcome back



wow, i won. wish me luck in the SCOOP.

pleasant dreams

Hippopotamus do not laugh easily

welcome back

I had a rare opportunity to be at home one midweek night this week. we were all sat round the table eating dinner.
my FOUR year old daughter picked up her mug to take a drink of water, which she promptly spilled all over herself. She put the mug back down, looked at her wet top and wet shorts and said, in a very very loud voice ....

"Fucking Hell"

my two boys were almost wetting themselves laughing, I just managed not to spit my dinner all over the table, my mrs had tears streaming down her face, in fact, the only non-impressee was the mother-in-law !
its just so good to know that her command and use of the English language is so advanced for a 4yr old. it's moments like that that make you sooo proud to be a parent, as the advert says, priceless !

pleasant dreams

The American Dream .... fucking Assholes

welcome back.

well that one certainly woke me from my apathy.

lets ignore the fact that the Federal Reserve has given 100's of BILLIONS of dollars to Wall Street on what some might say, are completely phony bail out claims .... lets go after those poker playing scum who are threatening, nay destroying, the American dream. complete and utter poppycock. like the FBI have nothing better to do, sigh.
soooo .... the Wall Street fiasco has cost Americans hundreds of billions .... online poker generates one billion dollars .... wtf? seriously wtf ??
and that's the one, greatest problem with America .... its all about the money, anyone who thinks differently is two short of a six pack.

DrizzTJD has a few words of wisdom ....

as does my favourite loon .... :)

and obv the good doctor has some good witterings .... and some excellent links, i might add.

I actually first noticed this insanity last night .... when i stopped by my good buddy's blog. forgive me, but i felt fucking awful over the weekend and actually (rather sensibly) stayed the fuck away from all things poker .... in the end I did not play a single hand last night because I had major major pain with a rather annoying molar .... dentist tomorrow .... no surprise if I emerge from that one less one certain lower right molar, ffs

so there you have it. is it good or bad .... certainly bad from my point of view as half the traffic on my tarbs were populated by Americans, ho hum

but as usual, its the little guys who get Royally Fucked. and what of the poor buggers who are actually online pro's ??

guess we'll just have to wait and see how it all pans out, but I seriously hope it blows the fuck up in the face of the assholes who paid to kill online poker in the good ole USofA

pleasant dreams

I damned well did

welcome back

so thats another alcohol free weekend in the books :(

to save you some time .... I've been running like a donk and playing like a coo. ty, gn.

the trouble with alcohol free time and actually playing poker, is the simple fact of memory. I can remember every single damned if, but, maybe hand that I played .... most annoying was a reg who called a lot of pre-flop action between me and a random. the reg's hand (KK66 .. wtf, seriously, what the fuck ?) hit a set and the randoms A2 held to beat my A3 .... boom boom.

my main problem when running like shit is tilt. not burnleyMik rant an a raving steaming tilt :) no, no, this is insidious tilt .... too many hands, to much calling of pre-flop raises .... and having to drop 'em all on the flop like a too hot potato. over the course of a few k hands, it all adds up, meh.

oh and there is also the problem of playing too many forum games. I really only should play 2 forum games a week. Iron Man and variation night. not me though, I continue to (mostly) donate at their nlhe donkaments. note to self - knock it on the head you fucking plonker.

so its probably just as well I have hardly played a hand at 10c/25c.

tonight is variation night, mixed 08b .... does that mean it alternates between limit and pot limit ? surely there is no no-limit round .... ho-hum.

pleasant dreams

damned if you do, ....

welcome back.

alternative post title .... he holds him with his glittering eye - pt 8

had a well weird weekend. probably something to do with 100% abstention from alcohol (actually cannot remember (no pun intended) the last full weekend I abstained )) .... and in my totally sober state, it was a real cat and dog weekend with her .... in fact, her behaviour actually seemed worse. maybe its always been this bad but I've never been un-hung over too notice, fml. damned if you do, damned if you don't, lol.

even weirder. not a single hand of poker played since last Thursday, lol. maybe cost me a small fortune, more likely saved me a small fortune !

ah well, back to the grind and no doubt, the odd game with the forum donkeys :)

oh btw, re the alternative title, you'll have to scroll back 50 or so posts to see what I'm referring to.

pleasant dreams

strange things happen at the 1.2

welcome back

yeesh, what an epic fail February was.

Lost my silver star status, meh, but added to the bankroll.
added $102 to my 'roll ($35 in bonus whore department, lol) the rest was all playing profit, probably $40 cash and $30 in tourney cash, ho hum.
but it was the manner in which I failed to achieve silver thats annoying. to put not to fine a point on it, I played way to many forum games and not enough cash ! no offence guys (dont think anyone from said forum reads) and as much fun as it is, it is deffo -EV from a selfishly personal point of view :)

deffo gotta knock that on the head and decide in advance which games to play .... not a good start to the month as Iron Man kicks off tonight (grrrr) and I will be playing all 10 of those games.

btw that money added to the roll was all done in the first half of the month with basically fuck all being added the second half, feels like a double epic fail now i've checked ffs.

i also really want to take another crack at the next level up, thats 10c/25c to the uninitiated lol .. I know, I'm such a fucking high roller :)

asked about on the forum and got some sound advice from the guys, one of them a pro, no less.

basically stick to pl08b, avoid the maniacs and keep it tight :) .... watch out for future posts detailing the crash and burn antics of pokerstars biggest fish lol (i've only got 10 buy-ins to squander, eek)

finishing on a high note .... there is some good stuff out there, you jus gotta get off your virtual very fat arse and look for it .... links on the right :)

pleasant dreams

nuggets

welcome back.

since i'm here i may as well post a quick one.

welcome on board to my latest reader, Lab monkey on TILT (you think i'm a lazy fukker when it comes to blogging ? stop by his place (link on right) and check his posting history ! then again, he's prolly way to busy winning sic amounts of money to make a post !!))

the cash grind :) continues apace. last night i crushed it, lol. for a whopping 350bb's .... such a shame I only, mostly, play the penny tables, ho hum.
also crushed the next level up ($10) for a whopping 3 bb's across 30 hands, lmfao !!

i cash "grind" because i can't/don't/wont commit gawd knows how many hours, to mtt's. so all you wankers, thats pro wankers btw (amagay:) really do have a fucking monster advantage over us recreational donks, bastards !

lets see, anything else .... oh yeah, I worked late tonight .... thats truly truly sic and a monster fucking bad beat ! and it was pissing down when I left work, pffft.

oh, this blog needs a makeover and a links cull .. dont say i did not warn you !

pleasant dreams

epic fail - part 1

welcome back.

well obv its only part one, there will deffo be a part 2 ....

last months poker plans kinda went to shit and not exactly sure why. as jonesUcunt would say, i'm such a wanker sometimes, lol. speaking of wankers .... thank you to West Yorkshire Police and, yes and, thank you to Dumfries & Galloway Police for giving me a speeding ticket. Yes, thats two fucking tickets .... on the same fucking day .... on the same fucking journey .... I run so fucking hot, eh ?! another two of those fucking things and I'll be joining Rubbish as the internets latest poker pro, fml !!

I did actually play poker last month, just not the anticipated volume ! managed a few thousand hands, retained silver status, added a whopping $48 to the bankroll, lol. well, it was all playing profit and not a bonus in sight, Rossi :)

pleasant dreams

(ps doing 89 on the m74 and then 59 in a 50 zone on m62 .... bastards, fucking bastards !!!!)

grind, rant, poker, non-pokher

welcome back

did we all have fun over the festive period ? good.

I more or less stuck to the plan and ground it out on 'stars during December, well, up to the 24th at any rate. averaging out about a redic 1500 hands a day. made the bonus I was after and blagged another one into the bargain.

quite surprising really, since I was on the piste almost every night (sic). I came off-piste last night, managing only 540 hands in about 2hrs and a tiny wee profit, lol. her indoors moans like fuck that I have my head shoved way to far up my ass and that's why she ain't into the pokher. This month, I'll continue to grind on 'stars, but I will be off-piste, lets see if that makes any difference whatsoever on the pokher front. btw, her main complaint was the fact that I did not get up in the morning .... funny enough, I was up before both her and the kids this morning .. still no sign of a fucking thaw though .. then again, she probably thinks its only a temporary blip in my drinking schedule, lol

so a simple plan as far as poker goes this month. grind it up on 'stars while stone.cold.sober. If I can blag another bonus or two and a hundred playing profit, I'll be happy and count it as a success. Last night was typical of my play on the first night off-piste. almost on autopilot .. meaning I was not getting involved overly much. not likely to loose much but not likey to win much ! as expected since it always takes a couple of days to get the alcohol out my system, fml.

so there you go. nice simple goals for January.

pleasant dreams

"do you have a life ?"

welcome back.

its nice to see some of the players on 'stars actually paying attention.

i decided to basically grind (that's my version of grind) the fuck out of it at 'stars this month. The sole reason for this was to grab a yearly bonus. I only noticed I might actually miss the damn thing at the tail end of last month. Well, that's what happens when you go donking about elsewhere !
I need not have worried since I "easily" attained the required vpp's. Which has thrown up another dilemma. Do I take the bronze star $25 vip bonus now ? or do I push on for the silver star $50 vip bonus ? Since these are not "stellar" rewards, I'm assuming they'll be available whenever and they won't be removed at the end of the year ....

The only reason I've accumulated vpp's is through multitabling. I've also actually added some $$ to my small bankroll. If I was any good at this blogger thing I'd post a nice wee graph, but I'm not, so I wont. The month started badly, dropping 500bb's in 6 days. Then the tide turned. So far this month I'm up 8000bb's. Knock off 2500bb's for the bonus, and that's 5500bb's in actual gameplay profit. Obv not ALL of the profit has come from microstakes as I've played a few hands at 10c/25c and (lol) 25c/50c .... dont ask, I grew a set one night and decided to play in the big playground !
(now that I've counted it all, its quite "eeeek!" , I've never run like this, then again, never played like this....)

well, we all know what happens for the rest of the month, don't we ....

then this random types in the chat box .. "hey Evil, do you not have a life ?"
he was obv a wee bit irked that I was sat at all the microstakes tables (not "fast" though!) but, if you remember, I'm chat banned, so the random will have to make his own mind up. my response would of course have been ..
.. "not this month son, not this month"

pleasant dreams

I am NOT smarter than a 10 year old.

welcome back.

cheers guys. yer so helpfull zag, lol. Rossi you could have explained about "purchasing" stellar rewards, lol ....

1400 hands and only +$7 .... ugh, thought me all day today. I was way to tired to trawl hh's last night to figure out where the hell I'd dropped the "other" $43 of my bonus ....

(the only upside is I only need 65vpp's for Silver .. is it worth it Rossi ??)

yup, you guessed it .... I finally figured out that the $50 had NOT automatically been credited to my account, you have to purchase the fucking thing for the pricely sum of 1 fpp ....

yup, deffo NOT smarter .... in fact, I dont think I’ll play poker anymore, sigh, now where are my crayons …

pleasant dreams.

resolve - A+ effort - B-

welcome back.

I will make my year end bonus on stars. since the start of December I have started grinding it out on stars. multitabling is, of course, essential. well, for the microstakes it is. not that I can 24 table but I'm getting there.
I only need 102 vpp's from tonights session :)

there are two reasons why I need to put in more effort. firstly, there are often more tables available than I play .... secondly, if I want to succeed with more tables, I need to cut down on "creative" plays !

one of the other nlhe bloggers posted about his months profit, quite nice it was too .... but .... he was err lots of buy-ins down and the profit was purely made from bonus money. I've never looked into the stars bonus thingy overly deeply, but if you make, say, a level one bonus for 2500 vpp's .... then level two jumps to 5000 vpp's ? me ? I'm up a whopping $20, lol

the point I'm trying to make, are bonuses for us microstakers not extremely limited ? lol, i just checked. after this bonus, I need 10k vpp's for the next one .... and since its dated 2010 then I assume stars reset vpp's to zero on the 1st january, no ? feel free to comment and tell me I'm talking pish !

if you want to move up stakes surely you cant rely on bonuses ? then again, do I want to move up ? the next level is 5-times my current buy-in .... oh and I notice that most of those tables are no-limit .... insanity, anyone ??

so 102 vpp's for the bonus and 175 vpp's for silver star .... gold star, pfffft .... thats a hell of a jump from silver to gold, lol .... then again platinum to supernova is plain redic !

sigh, I need a new template .... this broken one is really fucking me off. what a major pain in the arse a new template is going to be, but, it needs doing, bollox !!

pleasant dreams

Punch and Judy

welcome back.

well, there is hope ! had an absolute monster session last night.

1900 hands, $16 profit .... and 110 vpp's !

to me, thats amazing, a 3-figure vpp score. you know, I might actually get that bonus after all !

and the actual poker ? lets have a wee look.
my 2d 4d 8c Ah v 2s 3c 3d Tc v 6d 5h 7d 2c .... good for a scoop of 218bb
my Kc 3s As Ad v Tc Ah 4s Ac .... all the money went in on the flop 3d3h8h .... grrr, I take the high, she spiked a low, sigh. and against my fav Swedish babes too, oh Nonnie babes, how did you call my check-raise all-in on that flop ?? .... a 480bb pot and we split, ugh .... and I cant even chat because .... one month chat ban in place lol
my 32JA cost me 100bb when I tried to bluff (hee haw) a high board on the river and the villain just jams his stack in and I have to let it go, oops.
btw, A23x is the hand-of-death, I know it, we all know it, but still I hang myself with it .... grrrr
how about A2K6 v A2Q6 .... ended up a 400bb pot .... why the villain chucks all that in when he has neither nut low or high ... we split the low, I took the high, lol

quite a session. the rake paid in the hand against missSwedish was my biggest losing hand ! go figure. so obv feeling sorry for me, the RNG decided to try and soften the blow of being chat banned and flicked the 'ole doomswitch, in the right direction for once, lol.

thats the way to do it !

pleasant dreams.

struggling

welcome back.

played some forum tourney games over the weekend. all good fun, pfffft. twice i get it in good, twice i get get fucking rodgered, pfffft. the third time I jammed with 7's .... ran into Q's , fml ! I believe I also missed drPauly's game ? ffs zagga, a wee reminder would be nice :)

also played the dirtyPoker omaha game late Saturday night .... cant quite remember how I got donked, but I did, honest.
Oh thats right, I also picked up a chat ban, fml ! while having a bit of manly swearing banter with dirtyScott .... mod shows up, usual "keep it clean .... yada yada yada" .... the mod fucks off, I type in a response to some comment .... boom ! .... "your chat priveledges have been revoked" fml and pffft in one !

besides that, I know how Mik feels. cant catch shit and more over, cant get anything to hold ! then again, all poker players say that, don't we ?

anyway, the real news is, I have a real grind this month to achieve a $50 bonus .... 700vpp needed, fuck. I know its not a lot but it is for an occaisional 1c/2c donkey who cant quite 24 table .... so far this month I've collected 160vpp's .... 516 more needed ! come on you fucking donkey, you can do it !

I probably could do it, but .... the forum are running some non-nlhe games over the festive period .... they do hellish few non-nlhe games so its hard to resist, sigh. then again, the chat ban is just confirmation that my doomswitch had been flicked ....

pleasant dreams.

the deal

welcome back.

i really should post more often.

After reading about TheBigChap (take care of yourself mate !) you really don't know what's around the next life corner !

pleasant dreams.

Deal ? or no Deal ?

welcome back.

after playing this tourney for what seemed an eternity, yes it was a turbo !, I get this "dude" heads up. but I'm outchipped by 3:1 .... ugh .... then it appears in the chat box .. "deal ?" surely this guy thinks I'm Doyle-in-disguise .... or does he just have a fucking nosebleed ....

i thought he was taking the piss but then i noticed the "deal" box in the corner of the table has "1 player interested" ticked ....

so of course i say "sure" and tick the box .... a "make deal" window opens .. I did not seem to be able to input any figures in this window but another window pops open telling me how much he gets and how much I get .... its not an even split, so I decline .... and type in the chat "split ?"
he gets all antsy, "no way", "i'm 3:1 up" .... yada yada yada
he offers 60:40 and I tell him 8:6 .... not exactly sure what happened but, another window pops open saying he gets 8 and I get 6.4 .... not really wanting to waste any more time fannying about, I just click the "accept" button ....
all the "deal" windows close .... the tourney shows finished, the positions and cash payouts appear in the normal chat box.

wheeee ! just cut my first deal ! nay, accepted my first deal ! awesome, just fucking awesome !

oh, btw, did I mention this was a $2 buy-in .... btw, did I mention this was a 9-man stt .... btw, did I mention the standard payout is $9 and $5.40 .... btw, did I mention I walked away with $6.40 ....

awesome, just fucking awesome !

pleasant dreams.

welcome back.

I played stone cold sober last night. we'll come back to that.

well done noCash .... who went busto ! playing $2/$4 PLO, all I can say is "eek" .... but he also sat'd into some live event for a total outlay of £90 ish .... and the lucky mofo blagged third for .. get this .. £5,500 .... fucking awesome mate, just awesome !

well played sir, well played.

and me ? my sobriety test began in earnest last night. donking about on iPoker in some micro nlhe stt, I finished with exactly what I started with ! the up side is I played reasonably well :)

I then hopped over to 'stars and played in a forum mtt. only 4 tables, finally finished 8th running AQs into the big stacks KK .... immaculate timing as ever. Only dishing out one bad beat along the way, again, I'm more than happy with the way I played :)

lets see how it goes from here.

pleasant dreams.

ASBO

welcome back.

after a weekend of drunken debauchery .. ok, ok, so it was only me and I was well drunk, lol.

bit of a waste of time, actually. it just means I sleep late and generally piss everyone off, oops. (she is convinced I am half way to being an alcoholic) and that's my biggest problem when "playing" poker. I've just gotten so used to being a sociable amateur. beer in hand and off i go. certainly numbs the pain of bad beats. anyway, think I'll try being a really anti-social player .. ie I'm here to take your chips and not the table joker.

interesting from my point of view to see if I need to "learn" how to play again, assuming I knew how to play in the first place !

so I'll wish you the usual pleasant dreams, no really, I'm off to bed since I've been "asked" to do a night shift over in East Lancashire, oh the joys !

pleasant dreams.

Advantage

welcome back.

I am NOT staying here ....







Working for the man, has its advantages, occasionally. I am staying here.

Room with a view ....

being on nights does not give you time to appreciate your surroundings .... or play much poker for that matter, sigh

pleasant dreams.

i fought the bed and ....

welcome back.

.... the bed won.

had a wtl;dfr (way to long;didn't fucking read) uber post lined up but .... the bed in my digs needed fixing. there were 3 nails sticking out where they really shouldn't have been. in fact, there should not be any nails ! wtf ?
its one of those cheap "pine" beds. a flatpack special. previous roomy obv broke the fucking thing and tried a bit of DIY to fix it. basically hammered in a load of fucking nails to re-attach the slat support rail to the main frame .... now, eddie the english was a lovely lovely lass, but, to put not to fine a point on it, she was a fat cunt. so at some point the slat support rail parted company from the frame, hence the botched DIY.
so i thought, easy, remove the 3 nails, DRILL three holes, insert 3 screws, job done .... err no. 17 nails and 8 screws later .... job done, fml

on a slight side note, my kids beds are the same basic design .... except my bed has nice round finnials atop the legs .... kids beds have SHARP wooden corners atop the bottom legs .... i know they are sharp, my lower legs will be used as evidence ( my testimony reads thus - after coming into contact with sharp corners, lots of "bastard, you fucking bastard" or arrrggghh cunt, you fucking cunt" while collapsing in various states of distress .... ).... my mrs reads this and the beds will be on the bonfire, H&S will be rounding up the manufacturer/designers for a very public flogging and our newly appointed lawer will be issuing a lawsuit for $10 million fucking dollars .... oh and if my kids actually hurt themself .... you seen my other half when she is really really angry ??

so already wtl;dfr.

and poker. well, wsop from pokerPeoplesPlace is all done. closest i got was one 2nd place in stud8 and one cash in a nlhe donkfest :) to be fair, i did run/play like the proverbial jackass in equal measure. and the cost of all that good clean fun was $85 and i won $55 .... now thats a result !!

doesn't time fly when you're having fun ! i've a $3 omaha tourney to play, laters.

pleasant dreams

Amphetamine

welcome back.

just a quickie, sorry. sure I've mentioned this before .... but that game on FT is a motherfucking rake generating whore ! yup, tried it again last night and dropped a buy-in, bugger. should have known better than to play 6-max - why the fuck do they not have full ring O8 tables ? bastards.
I got half of it back playing standard full-ring, tyvm - please remind me not to try again, at least until I have a roll on FT ffs.

Not a lot to report. been playing the wsop most nights. all good fun. not won fuck all (two in the money, one of those a second spot). surprisingly, my stars roll still going in the right direction, although ever so slowly.
not bad considering most buy-ins are $5 and the fact i've only been playing the tourneys with no cash tables .... so i can concentrate, lmfao !
all the good its done, i'm gonna open some cash to keep tonights tournament company. might not be too bad an idea, since I'm "used" to multi tabling :)

tonight its RAZZ .... know what ? I've never played a RAZZ tourney, fml !!

pleasant dreams

Britains Got Talent (allegedly)

welcome back.

this is an unashamed (poker) brag :)

played a few hands tonight. some good some bad, some downright redic. nature of the beast. i got involved with one of the reg's. as soon as the turn brought the flush, i new i was totally fucked. but i raised his bet, just in case .... and got 3/4 as expected. he did have a sterling hand and ever the gentleman, i told him so.

ResdentEvil said, "nh"

hobbes62 said, "its an honor to best you sir"
hobbes62 said, "i respect your game"

how fucking cool is that !

pleasant dreams